Purging Disorder

So I have never really considered myself bulimic because I have never really B/p I just P/ after everything I eat. I came to find out this is known as purging disorder. An eating disorder over looked frequently. I have lost 10lbs as of today. I am now at weight 202.6 I am super proud that I have gotten that much off so quickly! I hope to meet my goal very soon. I am sure it will be tough with Thanksgiving around the corner.

Doing Fairly Well

Yeterday was kind of rocky. I gained two lbs yesterday. I am at 207.0 now and my start weight was 212. So I have lost 5lbs in about 4 days or so. I hope to lose another 5 by the end of this week. More if possible, but thats my goal. My husband is in the Army and yesterday I made him and some soldiers some pies to eat, & the COOLEST thing happened. My husbands Serageant came out, dropped & gave me 5 push ups, & shook my hand. NO ONE DROPS A SERAGEANT! & I did it and I am a civilian. I loved it it was pretty awesome. Today I am going to work out my ab's & do some restricting. If I screw up I will purge. Hope all of you are doing well =)

I'm back!

So quick update. I moved to Georgia with my kids and my husband. He is stationed here with the army for a few months then in January we will be moving again to Washington. Its pretty far away. We are going back to Texas for Christmas break. All the soldiers get Exodus, which is basically 2 weeks leave. I gained some weight when my husband was gone to BCT, but I am now back on my weight-loss track. I started at 212 2 days ago and now I am down to 206.6. I think that is pretty great progress! It all goes according to plan I should be at 198 by next week. I want to look great when my family comes to visit me! in 3 weeks my dad is coming up for my sons birthday and I want to be at 190 by then at least. I have been restricting a lot. Yesterday I ate a banana for breakfast. I ate some other things too, but I purged it all. So all is good here so far! I hope all of you are doing well! I will update again soon.

Back On Track

So my husband left for boot camp 2 1/2 months ago, and his graduation is in like less then 2 weeks. I am so fucking annoyed that I wanted to lose 30lbs while he was gone and I HAVEN'T LOST SHIT. I may have actually gained a few pounds.I am so fucking embarrassed, you have no idea. I keep trying to lose it and its not coming off. I had a baby 5MO ago and I lost all my baby weight after 3 weeks and then it just came to a complete halt. I don't know if I got lazy or just fed up with not eating good food. Whatever it is that shit is over and done with. I am tired of hating myself. I am tired of being lazy. I am getting back on track. I am going to crash diet so hard. I will eat nothing but chicken! I am so serious. I move in 5 days to go be with my husband with he is at AIT, so I have been super busy, but this is going to be a big priority of mine. FOR SURE. I have got to lose this weight..I don't want my husband to be looking at someone who looks better then I do. I look like a fat fucking cow. 800cal a day at the most. If I slip, I will purge. I will start this Sunday, because tomorrow is my going away party and I am going to get wasted out of my mind. I'll try no food, though. Maybe I will actually get up and exercise tomorrow. Hmm, there is a thought.

She Who Waits, Also Serves

Attention everyone. My husband leaves for basic training in a few days & I have created a new blog covering my experiences as a military wife. I think you will really enjoy it. Give it a look & become a follower! Let me know what you think. Also, I will be covering my weightloss on that page as well. I would love to lose 30lbs before my husbands graduation. www.alwayswaitingforasoldier.blogspot.com

Where has my motivation gone?

I havent worked out in a freeking week. I have gotten so lazy and have burned 0 Calories! I have gained like 5lbs back and have been eating whatever I want. I hate that I lost my motivation. I want it back and I will get it back. I look pregnant again and that is not happening. I want my ED back. HELP ME.

not a good day

I feel really fucking fat and frustrated today. I must have changed clothes 20 times trying to find something that I wont look fat in!! Needless to say that was unsuccessful. Fuck this. Fuck being fat. I havent lost weight in a whole fucking week. Im about to say screw thw whole healthy gig and just starve and purge again. I just want to cut this fat off of me. Damnit!

ughhhhjhhj

I feel really fucking fat and frustrated today. I must have changed clothes 20 times trying to find something that I wont look fat in!! Needless to say that was unsuccessful. Fuck this. Fuck being fat. I havent lost weight in a whole fucking week. Im about to say screw thw whole healthy gig and just starve and purge again. I just want to cut this fat off of me. Damnit!

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Insanity!

Okay so the last 3 days I have weighed 197.6, but I broke my diet last night and ate a cheese burger. Yes, it did taste awsome, but this morning I weighed in at 200.1 which was so not worth it. I do not need to be back in the 200's and I will not be back in them ever again after I get back to the 190's. I should have just purged, but I don't want to go down that road again. I will lose this weight. I have a new goal. I want to be 180 by May 26, 2011. I think it is totally do able. Also, I have started Insanity and it is awsome. I hate it, but I love it. My husband is my personal trainer and a damn good one. He is so fit and sexy its crazy. Ill have to get a picture to upload soon. If he isn't with me I find myself cheating, but what I realize now is everytime I cheat I am cheating myself out of the results I want to see. I have lost 20lbs in 1 month. Thats pretty good, but if I want to reach my goal of 160/150 then I need to really push and dedicate myself more then I ever have. It's going to take a lot more then I have been doing. But I am ready and willing and I will reach my results. I hope everyone else is doing well!

happy days

So glad to be under 200 lbs-198.2lbs today!

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wohoo

I finally broke the 201 marker! Thank you insanity!

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Insanity day 1

So I started Insanity today as planned and OMGoodness. It was so hard. I was litterally panting . I am kinda not looking forward to tomorrows workout. The good thing is that I know I got a lot done today. It was intense! Also, something else that happened today; I got chewed out today by my husband. It was like 4:00pm and he asked me what I ate today and I told him I haden't eaten and wasn't hungry and he started yelling at me saying he is tired of me not eating and he is going to have to babysit me again and all this other stuff saying he is going to make sure I eat breakfast when he eats and all other meals too. Then he made me drink an oatmeal bannana smoothie. I was kinda frustrated. I have been stuck at 201 for about 6 days now and it is so frustrating. I wanted to fast until I got over this little slump. I don't want to have a babysitter to make sure I am eating, but I know its probably best for me. I just really want this weight off.Also, thanks to my one reader for all your support. Sorry I can't be more exciting! lol Also here is some thinspiration for you!

looks like i screwed up this weekend

Let me start off by saying I didn't meet my goal weight of breaking 200lbs by friday. On top of that we all know it was easter thiss weekend.(happy easter) and I completley blew my diet. I ate candy, cookies, cake, pudding, drank coke and sweet tea. I didn't think much into it then but now I feel really bad about it. I mean everything I worked for is probably back already. So my plan now is to do a flush of my system today and tdy to detox and get back on track. I plan on starting insanity tomorrow. Im excited but scared and nervous as well. On another note; I had amazing sex lastnight. Me and my husband going into the hot tub at around 9 and we had candles lit to set the mood. I had a glass of mascoto and a beer and we fucked like we never had before. I came so hard. Then he ended up finishing in my mouth. We did it again about 30 minutes later. Im happy after 6years and 2 kids we have more passion fpr eachother then we have every had. Probably because we know he will be leaving in 3 months and will be gone for about 6 1/2. I love him. All in all(except for my diet failure) this weekend was great.

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Finally!

I am finally past the 203 mark! I weighed this morning and was 201.2. I am so excited to be getting this weight off. My goal is to be out of the 200's by saturday. Once I get out of the 200's I plan on rewarding myself with a prize of some sort. Maybe a massage by my husband. =) I worked out today and did 1/2 an hour. I burned 337 calories which is not bad for 30 minutes. I feel good. I am especially proud that I have lost this much weight and started working out this soon after I have had my baby. 1 more lb and I am at the weight I was before I had my baby, which was 3 weeks ago. I had sex with my husband lastnight for the first time since the baby( well vaginally. We were doing anal(OUCH) and it was so good. Makes me horny thinking about it. I just know how easy it is to get pregnant after you have a baby so I am really hoping I don't get pregnant again. I can't wait till I am able to get on birth control in two weeks. Also I made an appointment to get my wisdom teeth cut out on April 17th. (OUCH) The only good thing about that is that I probably wont be able to eat for about a week. Well I have to eat a little if I will be breastfeeding, but it will probably have to be liquid food like soups and stuff. Thats fine with me. I am going to take more pics tomorrow of my progress since two weeks ago. I wont post them though. Not yet anyway; I am way too embaressed.

THINSPIRATION-THINK THIN!

Back to 203

I wish the number was lower, but atleast its lower then yesterday. Im ready to cuddle in bed sleep with my husband and sleep. I have a terrible migraine. 3 tylonal and no relief so far. Ready to start insanity tomorrow possibly.sorry for such a short post

Trying to stay positive.

I am feeling down today. I did lose weight lastnight so I am back to 204, however I have been extremley sad/ frustrated all day long. Oh and besides that, I lost my keys. Freeking great. Now I'm pissed because I remeber I still have to look for them. I need a cigrette, but I don't even smoke. I want one bad. I hate feeling like this. I have every reason to be happy. Why am I not? I will have a good day tomorrow. I will.

Fuck

Im at 205 again this morning. Fuck. Thats all.

203

I went from 217 to 203 in just 12 days. My head has been killing me because of calorie restriction I think. It feels good, but I know I cant start this shit again. I hope the headaches stop and my body heals fast so I can workout again. I am starting Insanity soon and am excited.i hope the weight keeps falling off. My husband stays on my ass all the time about if im eating or not because im losing weight so fast. Its fine though. I know he cares.

I feel it coming

I feel my ed coming back. I don't want it to, but I find myself restricting more and more without even realizing it. Its 4:00 in the afternoon and all I have eaten today is a bananna oatmeal milk shake. My head hurts. I know I can't start this again. I have two kids to take care of, one of which I am breastfeeding. I don't want to take any nutrition away from her. I don't want to be sick again.

Well looks like I lost another lb lastnight. Pretty excited to get back on track with my weightloss. Here is a great website for ab workouts that seem to work and be pretty easy. I am excited to start it tomorrow. Possibly today.http://www.wholeliving.com/150931/6-core-truths Here are some thispirational photos

IM BACK! [[Post baby body]][& other life changing events]

Hey everyone. I know I haven't been on in a while. I have been waiting on a very special moment to come back. I am now the mother to a beautiful baby girl named Natalie. I am so blessed to have such a great lady in my life. She is such a good baby and only cries when she is hungry. I am lucky to have two great kids. It has been 8 days since I have had her and the day I left the hospital I weighed 217. I am now down to 205 and only 5 days away from my pre baby weight. I have to admit the weight is coming off fairly easy. I have worked out lightly since I have had her, but have tried not to do too much. I have purchased the Insanity workout plan and I will be starting that next week.I have already done the fit test and I was sore after just one workout. I hope to be back to my pre baby body at least by the time my daughter is 3 weeks old. I am breastfeeding and have been eating super healthy(mostly just chicken). I want to lose weight the right way this time. I want to get to my goal weight 150 as soon as possible.

   In other news, I will be moving in about 5 months because my husband has joined the military! I am so proud of him, but also very scared to be away from him for the 2 1/2 months he will be at basic. I am hoping we can move with him to AIT when he goes since he will be there for 5 months. He will be in Georgia at that time. I am so excited to see where we will be living after that. I am hoping for somewhere with a beach. Hawii hopefully.lol My husband is going to be a Multi-Channel Transmission Systems operator. Apparently it is a very good job. I am of course worried about deployment and when that time comes I am sure it will be very difficult. I just have to remember that this is making a better life for me and my children. I will just pray nothing happens to him. I love him to death. He is my bestfriend and I couldn't imagine living without him. I am sure to miss him terribley when he is gone. Anyway thats it for today! I will post more later and I am so happy to be back!