I purged today. It felt amazing; I feel clean and pure once again. The binge however wasn't that good. I love my new job. Today was a great first day and I really hope tomorrow is too. There is a down side to my new job though; they make you eat with the kids at lunch time. You have to eat what they bring you from the cafeteria. They said that we are role models and if we don't eat, the kids wont eat. So, yea. Not exactly what I had in mind, but at least its fat free, low sugar food.
I need to plan what I ear after work a little better. Something very low calorie. I also need to integrate some exercise each day. At least an hour. I have to pull any energy I can out because I am going to work 8hrs a day as a teacher, go to college for 3hrs on Thursday and Saturday, and be a wife and mother. I can do this! I will find the will power. And I wanted to say thank you to all my followers and to my new partner Heather. If anyone else needs support I will be happy to text you through out the day as well. We will get through this.
Lunch:
1/2 can of Pregresso Soup
1 Piece of bread w/ Nutella
Total Calories: About 200
I weighed myself this morning and to my surprise I didn't gain any weight this weekend. I was really worried that I would gain like 4lbs. So today I am going to try to do better and get back on track. I will have a workout today. My arms are still very sore from my last workout. I know I can do this; We can do this. I start my new job tomorrow so hopefully that will help me lose more weight. Hopefully no one will notice at my job that I am not eating much , I really don't want people to know.
Also, I wanted to say thanks to all my supporters. And to answer your question, no I didn't purge this weekend. My parents bathroom doesn't have a doorknob so I can't even really close the door. But if I need to, and if I get a chance, I will purge. How was your holiday?
So I went to my parents yesterday and my whole family was there with a suprise party! Yeyy, food. Not. I went in and they had all this food and a cake for my graduation ( that happened like forever ago) So they made me eat of course. =/ So yea yesterday wasn't that great. It was a pretty shitty day. And today hasn't been much better. I ate subway at like 3:00PM and then at 6:00PM I had some cereal. I didn't count calories. I am going to workout today but probably not for long because I have my niece spending the night here and we are doing fireworks later. Tomorrow I will be back on track for sure. I have to stop talking bout my diet because my fiance is getting pissed that I am starving myself to lose this weight. IDC I want it off and I will do anything to get there.
On another note, I bought new clothes today for my new job that I am starting and I hated how I had to get huge clothes. I will fit into a size 7 before this is over, I promise. Just please someone tell me how fat and nasty I look so I will not lose my control and I will stay motivated. Please I really need to get through this without taking steps backwards. I am taking laxatives tonight. Hopefully I can clean some of this crap out of my system!
I really need some support from you guys. Its 3:00PM and I have eaten 191 Calories today. I really feel like I need some support. I feel like I am losing control and I just need some inspiration. I know I am making progress, but I feel like the more I eat the more control I am losing. I need to create a thinspo. I am about to go workout and I want to burn at least 300 Calories. Maybe more if possible. I deff need to work on my arms and my belly bulge.
Measurements:
Stomach: 45IN
Thighs:27 1/2IN
Arms: 16 IN
Bust: 42IN
Breakfast:
1/2 Bananna
3 Boiled eggs
Total Calories:91
Lunch:
Yogurt
Total Calories: 100
Dinner:
Apple
Total Calories:80
Daily Calories: 271
So I thought I was going to do pretty good yesterday...WRONG. I ended up binging for the first time since my diet. I call it a binge but I didn't have more then probably 600Calories. I purged what I ate the first time, then ate some cereal =/. It felt so good to purge. Its been a while, I loved the feeling of getting rid of the food and feeling empty again. I also liked the feeling of having a secret that no one knew about. I have to be careful though or my husband will hear me and will get pissed. I still lost weight this morning so I am excited about that. I am probably going to my parents house today for the 4th of July so I am worried that there is going to be bad food there. They never have healthy food and they always go to this Chinese restaurant that I love. I am not going to eat there. What do you suggest me do? Maybe I can stick to the salad? Anyway, I took my weekly photos this morning and I can definitely see results already. I still look nasty, but its a start right? You can go to my first post to see my old pics.I also wanted to say thank you to all my supporters, especially Camille. You guys have really helped me stay strong in more ways then you can know.
So I got up early this morning(9AM) well early for me anyway, and I had a good workout. I didn't end up working out last night like I should have so I decided to workout twice today. I burned about 300 calories this morning( probably a little more because of my sweat suit). I am going to try to fast today if I can. I am already hungry, but I am going to try to stay full of water. If I have to eat I will only eat the white part of a hard boiled egg. This amounts to about 17 Calories a piece. I gained a little weight yesterday but I know its only water weight. I drank about 3 litters of water yesterday late at night so I didn't expect to lose any. I am ready to weigh tomorrow. I am loving my thinspos I have been finding. They are great.
I looked at myself in the mirror earlier and hated what I saw. My back is so fat, I wish I could just cut it off of me. I can't wait till I am thin, that way my back fat and love handles wont be there any longer. I love my back dimples and I can't wait till they look sexy again. I am really working hard for this. I know I will get there, eventually.
Edit: So its 6:40PM and I tried really hard to go through with my fast, but I ended up having to eat something. I ate light progressive veggie soup. It totaled 80 Calories. I am kind of disappointed that I couldn't fast, but this is the lowest intake I have ever had in one day so I am very excited as well. I am so full of water I drank about 3L of water today. I hope I am not bloated tomorrow. I know I am right now. How have you guys been?
XOXO-
Victoria
A Thinspo I Created. Enjoy It. =D Tell Me What You Think.
So I had my new job orientation today and we had to get a physical afterwards and when I weighed myself at the doctor it said I weigh 195! I was so excited. So this means either one of two things. My scale is off, or I lost a shit load of weight yesterday. So yea that mad me very happy when I saw it. I am super proud of myself. I really don't feel like working out today, but I think I will make myself have a workout late tonight anyway. I have to keep up this great progress. I don't know if anyone really believes I will lose this weight. Specifically my husband. I have gone on these diets so many times before and gave up soon after, but I want to prove everyone wrong this time and show them how serious I am.
I woke up last night terrified for some reason. I guess I had a nightmare; I couldn't go back to sleep. Your blogs definitely kept me entertained. I ended up purging my spaghetti from last night. Not all of it because most of it was already digested, but when I woke up I felt sick to my stomach so I made myself puke and I felt a lot better. I am not sure if I got sick because of my body change to food or what. I am not going to eat dinner today, I want to stay low on my numbers. I got a huge water bottle today so I can make sure I am always full of water. I am ready to weigh tomorrow and see what the scale says. It may be off so I will probably be disappointed, but I hope it has something low on it. Lower then 195. Thank you guys for all of your support! We will get to where we want to be.
