Back On Track

So my husband left for boot camp 2 1/2 months ago, and his graduation is in like less then 2 weeks. I am so fucking annoyed that I wanted to lose 30lbs while he was gone and I HAVEN'T LOST SHIT. I may have actually gained a few pounds.I am so fucking embarrassed, you have no idea. I keep trying to lose it and its not coming off. I had a baby 5MO ago and I lost all my baby weight after 3 weeks and then it just came to a complete halt. I don't know if I got lazy or just fed up with not eating good food. Whatever it is that shit is over and done with. I am tired of hating myself. I am tired of being lazy. I am getting back on track. I am going to crash diet so hard. I will eat nothing but chicken! I am so serious. I move in 5 days to go be with my husband with he is at AIT, so I have been super busy, but this is going to be a big priority of mine. FOR SURE. I have got to lose this weight..I don't want my husband to be looking at someone who looks better then I do. I look like a fat fucking cow. 800cal a day at the most. If I slip, I will purge. I will start this Sunday, because tomorrow is my going away party and I am going to get wasted out of my mind. I'll try no food, though. Maybe I will actually get up and exercise tomorrow. Hmm, there is a thought.